( bootycall )

[underwhelms]

hey, you've reached
✨👑KING JJ👑✨

Comments

[underwhelms]

[ also, considering his conversation with dutch: ]

that's not me hitting you up for ass btw

[summertimeblues]

[DON'T?!?!?!?]

I hate to shatter your wet dreams but you're not my type

[underwhelms]

i don't know if i believe that [ He's everyone's type, etc. ]
but i am too young for you
haha don't worry! i can pretend to have wet dreams about you for a confidence boost

[summertimeblues]

jj i will never, ever want wet dreams from you

Cease and desist or I'll have you arrested

[beep beep, for the love of gOD, BEEP BEEP]

[underwhelms]

well that's a relief!
you're joking again
feeling better?

[summertimeblues]

sure why not

[underwhelms]

so what exactly is the king of fuck mountain?

[summertimeblues]

[he is not having this conversation, not with this daft child]

a horseman of the asspocalypse

[underwhelms]

sounds like something out of a pornography
richie i thought you were wholesome! you know one of those mentor figures that takes kids under his wing

[summertimeblues]

everyone watches porn jj, it's how the people cope

But you're right, I'm no mentor for the wayward children. You'll have to seek answers elsewhere

[underwhelms]

[ JJ doesn't, but he's not going to say that and have Richie think he's lame. ]

you think i'm one of the wayward children?
aren't we just friends?

[summertimeblues]

[being scandalized was all the evidence he needed, you sweet summer child]

didn't you ask me for advice because I'm an "adult?"

and yes we're friends, but I'm still 18 years your senior kiddo. you best be showing some respect for your elders

[underwhelms]

i do respect you as an adult
that's why i came to you for advice 😊
one adult to another...

[summertimeblues]

[okay for all that he laments jj's obtuseness and ego, his delusions are a little bit adorable. And his heart's in the right place. Richie snorts fondly at his phone.]

All right then. Are you feeling better these days?

[underwhelms]

i felt better as soon as i talked to you
it meant a lot that you wanted to help
i hope you're the one who's doing better
since someone seems to be bothering you
you can borrow my ice skates if you ever need them 😉

[ he's jk please don't ever kill someone with his skates ]