( bootycall )

[underwhelms]

hey, you've reached
✨👑KING JJ👑✨

Comments

[underwhelms]

eloping is too romantic to resist!!
but you can through me a party if you want

[baguablade]

An after elopement party, huh? I'll consider it.
But I'm a little worried, you know.
I can't help it, when I find out that you're married to a vampire queen.

[underwhelms]

oh this is about diva!
wow she's told a lot of people that we're married
not that i can blame her....

[baguablade]

Is it true, then?
Or was she exaggerating?

[underwhelms]

i think when we first met she said something about marrying me
i thought she was a little girl so i said okay
it's really cute that she's still holding onto that

[baguablade]

JJ... She's not a little girl.
You know she's not entirely human, right?

[underwhelms]

i don't think she's even a little human
but don't worry this isn't a twilight situation
she's not watching me sleep or anything

[baguablade]

No, not human at all. I'm glad you know that.
I'm not sure what a "twilight situation" is.
But just promise me you'll be careful, okay?

[underwhelms]

haha don't worry about me cain
diva would never hurt me
beauty has tamed the beast!!

[baguablade]

That's reassuring to hear.
Probably more than you know...
So what exactly is a twilight situation?

[underwhelms]

i'm glad you asked!!!
twilight was a popular vampire novel back home
the vampire in the story fell in love with a human girl and he used to watch her sleep and read her mind so that she would fall in love with him

[ He's never read the books. ]

[baguablade]

I see! [ But does he really... ]
You should probably lock your windows just to be safe.
But I'm glad to hear that you're not going to be in that sort of story.
If you were, though, I'd come defend you in a heartbeat!

[underwhelms]

cain i need to ask you something

[ pauses for dramatic effect ]

[baguablade]

[ Oh boy, dramatic effect... ]

Yes, JJ? What is it?

[underwhelms]

are you in love with me?

[ . . . . . . . 😬 ]

[baguablade]

What

[underwhelms]

i know i'm handsome
and that i look really good without a shirt

[ . . . .

It seems like he should follow that up with something, but that's it. ]

[baguablade]

You are very handsome.
And you do look very good without a shirt.
But no, JJ, I'm not in love with you.

[underwhelms]

[ unsures ]

you know i care about you a lot cain
as a friend

[baguablade]

Yes, JJ. I also care a great deal about you.
As a friend.

[underwhelms]

thanks for understanding
i hope this doesn't change anything between us!

[baguablade]

JJ...
I wasn't in love with you.
I want to be very clear on this.

[underwhelms]

yeah sure
of course

[ squints ]

[baguablade]

[ JJ, why are you like this... There's clearly no getting through to him. Time to try a different tact, then. ]

Alright, you've got me — but I know that you're devoted to another.
I wouldn't put that burden upon you. I know that we can never be anything more than friends.
And so I've turned my attentions to Percival to mend my broken heart.

[underwhelms]

[ He isn't devoted to anyone, but maybe now's not the best time to mention that. ]

percival eh!!
you two look cute together
great choice though he's really hot 😉